Culture has taken some interesting positions on marriage over time and currently suggests that it is not important or necessary. Despite that, many seek to find that perfect spouse thinking life will somehow be perfect with that. The simple truth is there is no perfect person nor does God have one person picked out for each of us to marry.
God loves you and graciously gives you a choice about marriage and who to marry. He may bring several people into your life that may make godly spouses. However, there is no perfect spouse as we all have our imperfections. The challenge is to find someone that is a believer, that you believe God will help make you all you were created to be, and someone not filled with emotional unhealthiness.
There are several biblical guidelines for choosing a spouse. We see information about what godly men and women look like as well as what healthy marriage looks like. However, God does not dictate how to choose a spouse. God offers you the choice. When you enter into a true and pure marriage covenant, with Jesus at the center of your marriage, then God acknowledges your choice and blesses it as His will.
Some people still ascribe to the concept that there is one perfect match for them. This is certainly a romantic concept, but it is not biblical and simply wrong. If we think about this logically it would mean the entire universe of perfect spouses is forever poisoned the minute one couple breaks the perfect chain. This concept also leads to unrealistic expectations within a marriage.
The fact is there are multiple people that may be the right spouse for you. When a single person that draws you closer to God comes into your life and you decide to get married, it’s then up to both of you to commit to the each other every day working through every problem with God’s help.
Surprisingly, one thing that can be misleading is the idea of love. We all desire to be in love and find perfect love. However, relationships are hard work and people with different outlooks can find that even more difficult. Many people have different goals and objectives, or unhealthy family dynamics, and relying solely on the idea of being in love is not enough of a reason to get married.
The relationship and commitment to Christ is the first place to look and there are numerous other variables that will shed light on whether someone is the right spouse for you. Other factors to consider include views on children, finances, careers, family, church commitment, friendships, moral values, and conflict resolution.
Finding the right spouse and marriage are huge questions and we would love to talk with you about that.